Sexual abstinence is the practice of voluntarily refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity. Common reasons to deliberately abstain from the physical expression of sexu...
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Asexuality?
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I have been curious as to not only why I haven't had sex yet, BUT haven't even dated, nor do I really want to. I have been doing some research over time and the more I think about it I am convinced I may actually be asexual. While I do experience crushes from time to time I do not sexually desire these people. I am more interested in emotional than physical intimacy. I have never in my life fantasized about myself in any kind of sexual situation. I have been in customer service for over 15 years and I have never come across a customer that turned my head.
I have lots of friends, of both sexes, including very close ones. I am an artist and admire the human body but while I can recognize an attractive person, I never lust after them, my appreciation is more asthetic in nature. And while I have never experienced sexual activity with another person I do not miss it. I generally do not devulge to people that I am still a virgin because in our highly sexed culture I can only imagine their reaction but personally my virginal status does not bother me in the least. Does anyone out there relate to any of this? I was hoping they'd have an asexual forum on dailystrength but abstinence/celibacy was the closest I could find. Thanks for listening all :) Posted on 01/09/08, 04:01 pm |
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I use to think the same thing about myself. I was never interested in dating. In fact, I didn't start dating until college. I was attracted to guys sure, but when we went out and it came down to kissing, touching, etc. I just wasn't interested. It never did anything for me. I never wanted to have sex. However, the last two guys I've dated, I had considered and thought about having sex with. I just wanted to. The last guy I dated, I almost had sex with him twice. I've never done anything though besides kiss and maybe let a guy feel me up, but always above the waist. I think maybe I was just a late bloomer. I guess I'm telling you this because maybe you are not asexual. Maybe, it just has to be the right person to "get you started" or whatever. I've dated many guys since I started college, but only one made me feel like I wanted sex. 
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well, asexuality would imply that you're able to reproduce by yourself. i don't think you're asexual- you just have a little more dignity than everyone else.
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I'm very similar to you, except that I did have sex with two people when I was in my teens. I never really enjoyed it much, and don't miss it a bit. I can't say as I've ever been attracted to anyone, although like you, I can tell when someone is attractive. I just don't feel interested, though. I'm perfectly content and happy with my life and don't feel that I'm missing anything. I do tell people if it comes up, and they always think there must be something wrong with me or I'm lying. Then I have people say, don't worry, you'll find the right person someday. It's like, wow, don't jinx me! I'm HAPPY being alone! Oh well, I think there are alot more people like us out there, just not speaking up, because it is such a highly sexual culture we live in and nobody wants to feel judged. But you're definitely not alone.
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Thanks everyone. It doesn't bother me my lack of sex because, again, I'm not interested. But it can be bothersome living in such a highly sexualized society that people asume the it you are not sexualy active you must be abnormal, unhappy, or lonely, which I am none of the above. And it drives me crazy when people say that I just haven't met the right person yet or that I am a late bloomer, I can see 40 over the horizon for pete sake! But I recently came across dailystrength and asexuality.org and I am thankful that I am not alone and we do have a (tiny) community.
Again thanks for all your responses.
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I think I am the same way.
I am a seventeen year old guy, and I think something is wrong with me. I mean, i constantly think "She is hot" but i never want to get really close.
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It's definitely hard not to feel ridiculed by peers and the vision that the media portrays of people as being so sexualy obsessed. I've never dated, been kissed, or anything. I never made dating or always having crushes on "hot" guys my priority in life. Occasionally I do see someone who I consider goodlooking, but most often it is an actor or a singer or just a stranger on the street. I have only been semi attracted to 2 people in my entire life, and both I decided to just stay friends for different reasons. I would love to find someone I could feel comfortable with sharing that kind of intimacy with, but until I'm absolutely sure, I have no intention of giving myself away for free. It's hard, but I think I'm doing the right thing.
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I hear you but have a different point of view. You may be aesexual, that does happen. I (on the other hand) like the idea of sex (in a happy monogamous marriage) but rarely meet men that push my attraction button. I've only been in love once and at this point in my life I wouldn't want to be with him at all. I think its awesome that your virginal status doesn't bother you. I don't think its anybody's business but your own.
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