ADHD / ADD Support Group

Hi everyone,

I am new to the group and I have ADHD. I have read over some comments made by several parents of children with the disorder and wanted to share with you my experience and hopefully offer a little insight for those who would like to read it.
I was fortunately NOT diagnosed until I was working on my BA in College and going through my childhood not knowing I believe helped me. I will explain why. But don't worry if you are a parent and your child knows because I will offer you some tips.
A cousin of mine was diagnosed with the condition and his mother soon had him visiting an array of counselors and started him on a ritalin regimen. She often times talked about his condition with family as my cousin was in the room. I honestly believe that making the condition such a huge issue actually made my cousin worse. He soon became the "poor messed up kid" or victim all of the time. The drugs made his behavior odd and he just seemed to be lost all of the time. He would often times act out, slap family members, and do other rude behavior. He slumped into depression at age 14 and has never fully recovered. My dad took him for a summer to his ranch when his parents were desperate to get him away for a while. My father always had a more stern approach and treated him as though he would any other teenage nephew that came to visit, knowing he had the condition. When my cousin acted up, my dad would discipline him and he put him to work on chores. My dad spent time listening to him, taking him to do fun activities and just treating him like a "normal" teen. That month was ironically the best I had seen my cousin. He smiled more, came out of his "shell" and seemed happier. I believe his mother's smothering and the medications they pummped into him made him like a zombie.
As I mentioned, I wasn't diagnosed until College. My parents noticed that I had a huge attention problem and that I was a very active child but they never held me back! How I over-came ADHD through childhood was simple. Staying busy. I got all of the stimulation my mind needed from playing team sports, being involved in a lot of activities and just enjoying letting my creative side flow. My grandparents and parents always joked about how I was "always doing a project" around the house or "always go go going". But, what I love about my parents is they never slowed me down or stopped me because they were annoyed with my behavior. I surely annoyed them many times I am sure but I certainly had bounderies... God love em, they remained laid back and watched my creative nature blossom. We lived on 12 acres and I have to say, I used every inch of it building forts, tree houses, putting on talents shows with my cousins, coloring... YOU NAME IT! :)
Somehow, people think there is something wrong with a child that can't sit still... but if you ask me in a day in age where obesity and laziness is becoming a huge issue... why? My teachers took note of my excel in school... my disorder made me thirst for learning but it was mostly the hands-on learning that I found most beneficial and "easier" to do. I got in trouble a lot in school for talking and not paying attention but I was always ahead of the schedule and pulled good grades. My parents simply wouldn't allow me to come home with poor grades or I would lose some of my creative outlets.
High school was a god sent. My teachers knew I was learning the material quickly and getting bored with it so many of them would allow me to learn extra on the side. They would give me a more advanced book or different experiments/projects to work on during regular class. If I were a parent of a child with ADHD, I would certainly go to the teachers and make them aware so they understand your child is not always disrupting class on purpose.
When I got to College I realized I had a strong urge to NOT pay attention in class and I would catch myself day dreaming and doodling... for the first time in my life I wasn't getting perfect grades. I read an article in a magazine about ADHD one day with some symptoms.. I almost dropped the magazine on the floor in shock. That moment I decided to get tested and did so in the Health Center on campus for free. I was told outside of school it would cost me about 3000 dollars to be diagnosed with the condition. The psychologist I worked with explained that ADHD and ADD is especially hard to diagnose in intelligent children and could be why I was over-looked as a candidate by anyone. I was surely diagnosed in 2002 and started on a prescription of Adderall and an array of other medications. Honestly.. they barely helped me. I fought and struggled through college and hated the side-effects of the medication. I had thoughts about death, not of suicide but just death in general... as well as other outlandish thoughts. The meds made me feel like a zombie. When I took the meds it felt like smoking a good joint for about 30 minutes but they I slumped into the zombie-blah kind of state. I stopped the meds and haven't done any more prescriptions since.
My husband has mild ADD and we are certainly a match made in heaven. We are able to understand one another and know that just because one of us checks out mentally for spells, it doesn't mean that the love is not there. He has to tell me to stop cleaning the house sometimes, and is super jealous of my ability to fall asleep in about 3 minutes... We live normal, happy adult lives because we embrace the condition. Honestly, I see my ADHD as a blessing at times. I ALWAYS have energy, am beyond creative and love to get things done. I guess I just wanted to share my story to parents out there that worry about their child with the condition. It's not a terrible disease or a life-threatening disorder. It's simply a mind that is always looking for something to do and a mind that hates with great passion, boredom and nothing-ness.
I am not going to tell you that having ADHD is always easy because there are times I wish I would have listened 100% of the time to loved ones, or didn't lose my keys so often.... but there are certainly greater tragedies in life. Whats your story? I would love to hear it.....
Posted on 10/06/08, 01:10 pm