ADHD / ADD Support Group

Hi there!

Well, I'll just tell you that I feel your pain. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and then ADHD and ODD (each doctor had a different opinion). I tried all of the usual things, read some books, did everything I could before allowing them to put him on medication. I finally gave in, and I regret it now.

There is no telling what some of the medications will do, long-term, especially when given to a child whose body is still growing and developing. A lady saw me struggling with him (not physically) at a restaurant when he wouldn't get in the car, and took my phone number. She gave me some information on a program that her son had used with her grandson, and I have been using it with WONDERFUL results for over 2 years now.

I talked to the doctor and had my son taken off of medication because he was doing so much better (not that the pills seemed to help much). Another thing that doctors and medication did was to lower his self-esteem, because he felt "sick" and "different" for supposedly needing medicine to control himself.

I'm not saying that it's NEVER necessary, or that it might not be something to try on a VERY TEMPORARY basis, so that you have a chance to work with him on his behavior and concentration...but if I'd known about the program before I allowed my son to be on meds, it never would have happened. I would use them as a last resort, only.

Sure...schools like having kids on meds because it's easier for them...some parents are like that, too...sadly enough. Doctors make money from the visits...it works for a lot of people...but it's the child who is most important.

Also, I learned 2 things... 1. Just because a medication calms a kid down, doesn't mean that he has a MEDICAL problem. It could be an emotional issue that can be corrected without medication. For instance...if you give sleeping pills to someone who doesn't have trouble sleeping, they will STILL be affected by them. Same thing with ADD meds.
A diagnosis is just giving a name to a list of behaviors. Psychiatrists are medical doctors and they are trained to treat problems with medicine. You might try a therapist first. There are often other causes of behavior that a doctor will say is "ADD or ADHD, or ODD." Many times, they are emotional issues caused by previous trauma, abuse, or other causes...and sometimes, too much sugar or carbohydrates.

2. Also, doctors may make a diagnosis after seeing a child for only a short time. They base it on what you tell them about his behavior and what they see...but that's limited information, and sometimes, not enough to be accurate. that's why a doctor could see him one month and give him "adjustment Disorder," and another doctor on a different month and give him an ADHD diagnosis, etc.

I wish you all of the luck in the world, and if it DOES come down to meds, make it temporary. I would just try everything else, first.

Take care,

Kim

Thenk you for your post, Angel. I, too am feeilng overwhelmed with the same exact problem only it's my 5 year old Kindergartner that's failing. I need help and I don't know the first step. Our family doctor doesn't believe in Bipolar Disorder, ADD, ADHD, etc. so he is of no help. I've located a Dr. that the school has recommended but I'm lost as to what to do next. Glad I'm not alone here!

I WOULD RECCOMEND SEEING A PEDIATRIC PSYCHOLOGIST FOR TESTING AND A PEDIATRIC PSYCHIATRIST FOR MEDS IF YOU NEED THEM. I ALSO WOULD RECCOMMEND NOT SEEING SOMEONE FROM THE SCHOOL AS THE TEND TO LEAN THEIR WAY AS TO NOT PAY FOR EXTRA HELP. ALSO ONCE YOU GET THE DIAGNOSIS, IF YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL THERE IS A 504 PLAN OT IEP TO ACCOMODAYE YOUR CHILD. MESSAGE ME ANYTIME. PAM

Hi, I too have a son (mine is 8 yrs. old) who has ADHD and possibly ODD as well. He is a handful and we never know what the next 5 minutes will bring (a happy kid or a destructive explosion, he snaps in an instant). My husband and I struggled for over 3 years with our son before finally giving in and trying meds. It has been a lifesaver for us and I now wonder why we didn't at least try it earlier. There is nothing that says you have to continue giving them meds if you don't want to. Of course, no parent wants to give their young child meds. It is a very tough decision to make, wondering if you are harming them, stunting their growth, etc. My son does so well in school now, leaves the other kids alone and does not disrupt the class like he did before meds. He is much more focused, even on the soccer field. I would recommend at least trying some meds to see if the benefits outweigh the risks. He also goes to therapy a couple times a month. I can only speak from experience, but wish we had tried meds earlier. Good luck. Lisa

One thing that you might consider: the school has the right to force you to place your child in another school that deals with behavioral problems and until adressed, keep him there. I saw it happen to a lady down the road. In the end, she put the boy on medication and soon he was back with the rest of the kids. Medication isn't always the answer, but it's a place to start. Watch him very closely, and if he acts strange...take him off of it and try another. It took 3 tries before I found the right medication for my grandson and now we are able to deal with his other issues. Good luck to you, you have a long road ahead of you.

I was in your place 7 yrs ago. I did not want to medicate my son. But that is really the loving thing to do. It is not fun to be a child with ADHD and have everyone mad at you. It lowers self esteem.
Concerta works wonderful for my son. HE also gets extra help at school.

you need to do what you think in your heart is right. Your his mom you know him best. Have you considered he's in the wrong type of school. We did put our son on medication,but also realized he was in the wrong learning enviorment. We took hin out of regular public school and put him in a monttessourri charter school here in our town. It made such a difference, it was incredible. The teachers there are so great, helpful and nurturing. They are really are involved with the kids. They say in a way those kids are their kids too. It's a 3 grade classroom meaning the have 3 classrooms of grades 1,2,3 then 3 classrooms 4, 5, 6. Then the middle school is 7th and 8th gr. So you can understand how these kids are theirs too. By the time a child leaves their classroom they've had them for 3 yrs. At my son's moving up ceremony ( 6th graders going into the 7th grade) the teachers made speaches and they were very emotional about these kids of theirs now moving on to the middle school.

I waited as long as I could I don't like to take anything. I wait ever so long before taking tylenol. i knew my son was highly active a a baby. I would put down a blanket with a lot of toys he would not sit and play he was constantly on the move. He was every where except where he should be. At he would roll all over his bed just couldn't quiet down. He wore us out I never knew about adhd . After going to school and not staying in his seat and disturbing class we knew we had to do something. He not a mean kid he just can't stay still would not sit and watch a kids show like others .We took him to get a evaluation read a passage in the doctor's book about adhd and was exactly how he was. Put him on med. as bad as I hated it and in 15 or 20 min. later he would obey better he would actually sit a while and watch a show.He still would rather be outside but a lot easier to work with. I pray he will eventually get to stop the med.""concerta" but for now I don't seem to have a choice. You may just try it and see how he does and go from there.

UPDATE: Thanks again to all of those who have replied.He is on day 6 of Methylin Liquid. So far I see very little change. He has always switched from Obsessively focused on one thing to just bouncing off the walls and not able do focus on anything. He has seemed somewhat more patient. And he has been much more loving. Some of that may be the intense attention and love that I am making a point to give him. He has always done well with Positive reinforcement. His teacher has not seen much of an improvement in behavior but he has done extremely well last week in his testing. Some of this I think we can definitely contribute to his tutors. As far as the medication, I am not sure how soon I should see this "Drastic Change", Or is it a gradual change?
The school counselor said the other day that I appeared to be "fighting" everything. I was offended by this because I told her that if I was "fighting" everything I definitely would not be giving my child this medication that I very strongly have been against giving. How am I supposed to feel being that I read 25 kids have dropped dead from taking these type medications. Granted most of these children had unknown heart conditions. But at 6 how do I know how this medication will effect my little one? I still have many many concerns. I do not want a society that feels that there is a "Magic Pill" to fix everything that can go wrong with our bodies. I have never been one to give my children medications unless absolutely necessary. But on the other hand.... I do not want to be so hardheaded and close minded about something that could possible benefit my child. It is a fact that there is something wrong. Is it possible that I find some doctors that can all agree on what that is? Should I sit back and watch and wait until they can figure that out ? Meanwhile he is failing school? I know that these are questions that many of us face. What is sad is the parents that feel forced every day to medicate their children without even questioning it first. I have been dealing with this for about a year and a half or so. I do not want to feel like I am giving up on what is best for my child. I also do not want my child to feel that I will ever give up on him. I really do appreciate being able to share with you all my struggles. At least I know I have an audience that understands. Please continue to send me information in regards to this issue and especially if you have any feedback on this medication , effects, what to expect. Thanks again and many hugs.

A few things to keep in mind if you feel that strong about not putting him on meds. Some can have worse side effects then what they are to help fix. You really need to do some reading before putting him on these meds. One thing is do some diet changes. Avoid sugar, salt, artificial sweeteners, food coloring like red dye, and of course caffeine. All of these things can make his issue worse. The other thing is a question as well. You mentioned your mom going through chemo. And you are very upset and cry alot. Your son does not know why you are so upset but knows that you are. He is feeling and acting out even worse because of the way you feel. Children pick up and act according to what their parents are going through. Have you considered home schooling your son? I know that with my daughter I can get more done with her at home then they can at preschool. She completely acts out there. If you do keep in mind that some days will be better then others and morning time is best. But the good part is that you can go at your pace. And he will learn more because you can take breaks on those days that he is really not into it. ADHD tends to become more noticeable when a child enters school because they have a harder time adjusting to going to school then other children. But the irony of it is they also tend to have higher IQ's as well they just need to focus. But they get "labeled" and usually put in a group with other problem children and it only gets worse. The group is at a lower academic level then the rest of the school and in turn they are bored in school. Which makes their behavior get even worse until they can by law drop out. Which most do. This is a path that I have seen by so many and myself have gone down. This is why I suggested that you consider home school now. You might be surprised that your son will do better.