The 10 REAL Reasons Men Don't Go to the Doctor
Men die at higher rates than women for all of the leading causes of death. We know the reasons men give when surveyed about why they avoid the doctor: "I don't have the time; it's too expensive, I'm afraid of what I might find out, I'm fine." Here are the 10 reasons I think men stay away from the doctor. Correct me if I'm wrong.
1) You are afraid we will put our finger in your butt. We will, especially if you are over 40 or have any complaints related to your bowel movements. Yes, you get a rectal exam after the age of 40 once a year for a feel of your prostate and so we can check your stool for microscopic blood that you can't see.
2) You are afraid we will examine your balls. We will, if you are 40 or younger. The peak age for testicular cancer is 18-40 so guidelines recommend you get a once a year testicular exam. Don't worry it won't hurt at all.
3) I feel FINE. I am glad you feel fine, but you can feel FINE with high cholesterol, high blood pressure and elevated blood sugars. Your mother or wife won't feel fine when they are taking care of you after you have a stroke. Don't wait until you feel awful to come see us.
4) Going to the Doctor is a chick thing. Many of you feel this way but remember we live longer than you. If doctor visits are a chick thing well, then, nursing homes are a guy thing. You have to get over this. It's true the waiting room magazines are not for guys but when you come see us you will see that many of the medical assistants, doctors, phlebotomists and medical records folks are men. Real men go to doctors.
5) You are embarrassed to talk about what's going on with you. The bright red blood on the toilet paper when you wipe, the red itchy rash in your groin and on your feet, the problems you have at times getting a boner, getting up at night a few times to pee, we hear it all the time. You are not alone and our job is to show you how common this is and help fix it for you.
6) You don't find the office hours convenient. I get this and urge you to find a doctor who is accessible and can work around your office hours. Seriously though, the average guy watches 16 hours of TV a week, you can come for a 30 minute visit once a year and maybe a couple follow up visits as needed.
7) Going to the Doctor is giving in to your nagging wife. I had a patient who gave his wife for her 20th anniversary a copy of his Lipitor prescription, thinking this was a GIFT to his wife that he was taking care of his medical issues. It is true, women rightly so nag their dads, brothers and husbands to go to the doctor because they are tired of square dancing with other women at the assisted living facilities.
8) You don't realize we are here for prevention. You don't have to be sick to come see us and if you establish a relationship with us you have easy access when you do get sick. Once a year we can touch base with you to discuss age appropriate screening which we KNOW helps you stay well.
9) You don't have a relationship with a physician. If you are not attached to a regular physician by the age of 40 you are more likely to get in trouble. Unlike woman who need annual pap smears and contraception, you haven't had to see someone regularly from the age of 18-30. Find someone your friends use or enlist your partners help to find someone that might be a connection. You want someone accessible and younger physicians are much more likely to email so look until you find the right match.
10) You think we will pick on you for your habits. Drinking a 12 pack on the weekends, not exercising and eating bad foods, among other things. These things are not as uncommon as you might expect. We will put you on a long leash and let you pick and choose the habits to get rid of as needed.
See you soon!
Dr O.
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48
Your post has really hit a nerve with me...My closest cousins ex hubby died on the 31st of Oct from a massive heart attack at the age of 37..
He was being 'his own doctor' thinking he had heart burn...I am really angry that he did not go into the doctors to go and check it out..instead he went and got some milanta, and dropped dead in the middle of a car park...3 main arteries to his heart were blocked..he left 3 girls behind, and was also my sons God Father...
If only he had gone in, he could of gone for a triple bypass..but no he did it his way...and for that our family is now not the same..
By Zanobia November 19, 2008 4:59am
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I think you struck a nerve with your blog ,Doc...at least with me. I am a sixty year old man and I was guilty of all the above. I was also guilty of thinking that I was imagining things and just needed to tough it out. I didn't want to seem to be panicky.
I now see more doctors than I ever did in my first 50 years on this Earth. Maybe if I had seen them more in my first 5 decades I wouldn't be making the rounds now. Good article.
By thp636 October 15, 2008 4:38pm
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Balls? Would it be as acceptable to say that women don't go to the doctor because they are afraid of getting their tits touched? Uh oh, can't say that now could we.....
By notb10 October 1, 2008 11:16pm
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My point was, going to the doctor regularly did NOTHING to prevent my angina. There really is a lot more to it than just regularly showing your face in a doctors office.
Let's be brutally honest here, sometimes going to the doctor can be the WORST thing that a person can do. Doctors make mistakes, medications have side effects and hospitals more people die in hospitals than any place else, even people who go in for routine, non-life threatening conditions.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't go to the doctor or even address medical problems, I'm saying that the answers aren't as straightforward as some of the comments might suggest.
By Thepakettle September 29, 2008 7:10pm
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Thepakettle: Im glad your doc had an eye on you and certainly some men go to the doc...I hope they go before problems ensue. I agree with you 100% that men perceive their lives as more stressful and experience more stress.
By DrOrrange September 28, 2008 2:53am
43
Men die sooner because testosterone isn't as good at protecting us from heart attacks. Women have the definite advantage.
Men are bigger than women, statistically anyway. Larger people tend to have more heart problems. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,293...
Men tend to be risk takers. It's not only a side effect of the testosterone, it's also a societal expectation. We're the ones who are asked to go to the "front lines", we're the ones who are supposed to protect and defend, we're the ones who sometimes have to travel great distances to perform our jobs, and sitting on an airplane is proven to contribute to blood clotting problems.
And let's face it, men tend to be more stressed by the potential of professional failure and stress is one of the leaders in contributing to health problems.
But the good doctor would suggest that we can eliminate all of those risk factors, just by running to the doctor every few months.
Ok doctor, I've had the television camera up the backside, and he told me to not darken his doorstep for ten years.
I've been to my doctor regularly for the last ten years and it didn't prevent my angina/stents. For the last 5 years (when he first started prescribing them) I've been taking the BP meds, cholesterol meds and trying to do what he told me for ALL of those ten years and yet it didn't prevent the angina.
"Why?" one might ask.
Perhaps we haven't been addressing it aggressively enough, but it certainly wasn't because of not seeing a doctor.
Dr Orrange's rant was an interesting generalization, but one that doesn't always fit into the reality of life.
By Thepakettle September 27, 2008 1:16pm
42
I agree with all the above but I'd also put Money and inadequate insurance coverage as a real issue. At least it was with me. Affordability really is a problem now.
By JVB September 24, 2008 9:37am
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The bit about "the long leash" in Item 10 insinuates that men are dogs. Not funny.
I would say that male expendability is a message that the average man gets 100 times per day. Your needs aren't important, but women's needs are. Your job is to bust your butt so that wife and kids can have a good life.
But let's also look at the bigger picture: there is an office of women's health, but NOTHING similar for men. Breast cancer gets 4 times the federal funding that prostate cancer gets. Every hospital has a women's program, but ask them why they don't have a men's program, and they laugh at you. I should know - it's happened to me many times.
By ESF September 23, 2008 9:44am
40
good one bancom.....that cracked me up
By DrOrrange September 13, 2008 7:00pm
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good article or blog in my opinion though!
By BillyJackTurtle September 11, 2008 3:41am
38
still scared of pharma drugs that is what keeps me away from Doc's
By BillyJackTurtle September 11, 2008 3:39am
37
Men die sooner because we have to put up with our wives perimenopause, get divorced because they find somebody younger, bash ourselves and still pay child support and alimony. We really just want to hold our mates, fish or golf once in a while and pick flowers to take to her and remind her that we do know how to seduce her and remember our wedding vows. The up the butt stuff is needed...just don't get attached to it.
By bancom1 September 7, 2008 10:43pm
36
It was not my intention to "male bash"...I don't care for any bashing of anyone..but I find that I must reply to you, Thepakettle, the "vicious beasts" have changed from cave-man days, they are now diseases that can slay you. So now your "weapons" are information and knowledge, not rocks or spears....
I personally don't find it "easy" to go to the doctor, especially right now-I have no insurance, thanks to the woman at my husband's place of work decided that our children and myself are not in need of insurance-thus cancelling one of the few benefits he receives at his job. Fortunately she did not cancel payment of his insurance, because not only did he have prostate cancer, he is also has epilepsy, since the age of 16. However, I do try to make it for the important yearly exams or when I feel something is not quite right with me.
Another point, Thepakettle, I personally do not find it necessary to flock to the restroom with other women for a "grooming session" and whenever possible, my husband and I share that emotional heavy load, there are times when one or the other of us must lift and carry it alone. It's the way life works. I don't believe it has anything to do with evolving...maybe just growing up.
Please try to not look on every thing that a woman says as male-bashing. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just be able to discuss a subject without having to look for the hidden agenda? I think it would be great!
Quackedup, I must say thanks! I needed a laugh today! Please know that I am laughing with you, not at you. I too infuse my comments with humor, which we-my family- use a lot to get thru difficult times or situations. After all, it is said that laughter is the best medicine....just don't forget to get those yearly exams too!
By chatnoir September 6, 2008 2:19pm
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I didnt really see it as male bashing...sorry if you took it that way. Its the truth mixed with some humor but I see your point.
By DrOrrange September 5, 2008 12:49am
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So this is yet another place where it's fun and acceptable for women to bash men. For the most part, women are delighted to have a man around who will provide and protect, but the male psyche requires that we refuse to face our own mortality if we're going to be willing to go out and slay the vicious beast. Yes, there aren't many vicious beasts around any more, and women here are pointing out that men are archaic.
Enjoy yourselves ladies, personally, I'm getting pretty sick of male bashing.
By Thepakettle September 2, 2008 9:14am
33
I go to the doctor to learn new things. Then joke about them. There are some things/experiences that are just more funny when you and someone else have been through them. I.e. a colonoscopy or something. That's always fun to talk about. One, either people are gonna relate, or two they are going to be grossed out. It's what comedy is made of.
By QuackedUp September 1, 2008 6:53pm
32
reasons i dont go to doctors.
most have an ego the size of a small state, and resent the informed patient
they want to do it their way, and dont listen to the patients needs
they are like the 5th leading cause of death, visiting your doctor
they call it a doctors practice, ill come back when they get it right
why dont others go, many still cant afford it. no natl healthcare ya know
except for illegals, prisoners and pple very poor its free.
tell me who could afford to visit any er in this country without healthcare
coverage?
By straybluedog August 31, 2008 12:12am
31
You have it right. My father dies at 58 because because of the finger thing. My step father believed if you go to the doctor you are really sick so if you don't go then you are okay. Both men I loved, both are idiots.
My middle son is to embarrassed to go to the doctor, despite my always going for preventative and acute care. I told him you can make all the money in the world but you cannot buy health.
My primary asks plenty of questions and never makes me feel foolish so I like him very much.
By callmeouch August 30, 2008 11:04am
30
as a former life insurance agent you will find life insurance is more expensive for men because of this simple truth in fact women pay more for health insurance because they do go to the doc more often.
By nobody666 August 29, 2008 2:47am
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#2 is the only reason why i do go.
By J4A August 28, 2008 7:02pm