Teen Pregnancy Pact: Kids Having Kids
When I first heard of the teenage ‘pregnancy pact' among a group of girls at a Gloucester, Massachusetts high school I was both dumfounded and disappointed. This "pact" included at least 17 pregnant teenage girls who agreed to get pregnant at the same time. Although I am certainly not condemning the concept of pregnancy and parenthood no matter the age, what I do question is whether any significant consideration and thought process took place here. I find it imperative we understand all of the components of why this situation occurred so that we may prevent it from occurring again.
Why is this so important? Other than the obvious that I believe most 16 year-old girls are not ready to be mothers, I am also afraid that after 15 years of a nearly 40% decline in teenage pregnancy, a rise in the teen birth rate was noted in 2006. This may be the beginning of a disturbing trend reversal in the U.S. Additionally, there are more than 729,000 teen pregnancies annually. That means 3 in 10 teenage girls in the U.S. become pregnant by age 20.
So as we wait to hear more details surrounding this "pregnancy pact", lets discuss the factors that probably played a role in the decision making of these young women.
- Peer pressure: For those of us who have already experienced teenagehood, we know how hard it can be not to join in when literally everyone is doing "it". Usually one or two individuals get things going and when the momentum is moving, it's something very hard to slow down.
- Parental guidance: From what I've gather, a gag order is in place with the parents (as well as the teenagers) so I hesitate commenting on them both individually and collectively. However, children will always benefit from having a role model who will hopefully direct them down the correct path or, if nothing else, a well thought out path. Ideally, parents should fill this role, not the celebrities who are paraded in the various forms of media at our disposal.
- The role of the media: To expand on the previous point, you only have to look at the internet, television with all of the entertainment-based shows glamorizing pregnancy and parenting, and the line-up of all the magazines at your favorite grocery store featuring celebrity pregnancies or newly crowned parents. Now some place accountability on recent movies including "Juno" and "Knocked Up" (both released in 2007) and deservedly so, but I see the other forms of media as having a greater impact.
- The myths of parenting: Having unconditional love, feeling needed and receiving attention from others (which I am sure these girls were all seeking secondary to any self-respect issues) plus the glamour of being a parent (at least how celebrity pregnancies and parents are portrayed in the media) certainly looks appealing. While some of these points may be valid, one must not overlook the lack of sleep, the overwhelming responsibility, and the significant adjustment in a teenager's lifestyle that follows having a child. Research has found only 40% of teenage mothers before the age of 18 will graduate from high school. And teen mothers are more likely to live in poverty than women who have a child at a later age.
- The role of our schools: Now it's easy to jump on the school board for only teaching abstinence as a form of birth control (apparently 1/3 of all school districts nation-wide share in this teaching philosophy), although it appears birth control would not have made a difference here. But has anyone taught these children about the increased risk of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases and even more telling, that teenage pregnancies are more likely to end up in premature deliveries and with children potentially having significant medical issues?
I am certain that we as parents can do a better job of talking to, loving, and guiding our children. And our schools could certainly do a better job of educating our children. And at its core, the media needs to acknowledge its role in this situation. In its many forms, the media represents and defines the idea of pregnancy and parenthood to so many of us, and unquestionably needs to be a part of the solution.
Dr. Jeremy
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16
I live in Australia. Sex ed skips over all the minor STIs, tells you how to get pregnant and about condoms and than the rest of the time focus's on AIDs. We were not told about the fact that taking anti biotics or being sick will mean the pill does not work. We were not told of the diseases that can make you infertile if left untreated, many have no warning signs until it's too late. As for teen pregnancy. I had my son Jan 2006. At the time no one my age, other than me we pregnant....later that year I knew many girls pregnant from 14 to 19. And now I see so many young parents.
I am not saying that age has ANY baring on if you will be a good parent or not. After all there are 40 year olds that abuse their children and their age does not make them a good parent. However I would like to know why there is a increase in teen parents.
I have 3 children, a 2 1/2 year old and 4 month old twins. However we work hard everyday. My partner as of next month will have two jobs, one running a business. And I do three courses. Next year I hope to go to uni. I finshed school before my son was even a year old.
Whenever a young person tells me they want children I tell them to get into a career first, make sure you have suport and to not expect to feel better about themselves just because they are a parent. I've heard so many depressed teens say they want a child so they aren't alone. the fact is in most cases your depression won't live and mixed with the extra responsiblity, lack of sleep and finanical trouble will just get worst.
By Mummy23 July 31, 2008 11:13pm
15
I am a 21yr old mother of three children ages:3yrs, 2yrs & 5mons. I love my children and was very lucky to have a very supportive husband. I had almost completed my junior year in high school when I found out I was pregnant. It was always my decision to have my baby. I finished out the school year and even kept working at my local Dairy Queen job until I left for maternity leave. I did not go back.I did not start my senior year due to the fact I was an eight month pregnant newlywed, but instead opted for my GED. I did not become another statistic. My husband and I had our daughter and bought our first house before we even thought about having another child. I have been very lucky and blessed in my life to have a wonderful supportive husband and extended family. I do however, find it deplorable that these teenage girls are getting pregnant on purpose. These girls should not want to have a baby to use it as the newest accessory. I just hope that these young ladies realize that becoming a mother is a very hard and important thing at any age. I am a housewife and stay at home mom and I can tell you it is not always glamorous. I wish these girls would have thought about their future goals and how they were going to get there, instead of how long is the second trimester.
By Lilpinkbra July 10, 2008 1:14am
14
Yeah, sometimes it just happens... but why do they get pregnant again within a short time? Why do their friends also get pregnant? So they can feel cool? Play being a mummy together? Yes, there are great teen moms out there but it is simply to many who become pregnant. Yes, ome finish their school and have support but many also don't. What do they do. Have more kids and work jobs they hate. You can't tell beforehand how it all will turn out. I know many teens who did not finish school, don't like the jobs they can get and just have more kids so fill the emptyness. They have no support from their families and have another baby so they are not alone. They hang around the mall two toddlers in a twin-buggy, smoking and pregnant again and I feel for them.
You are lucky, it all worked out for you but it's not like that for every teen-mum.
By lysan July 4, 2008 8:06pm
13
I am a teen mom and I dont think that any of these things you posted are the reason that I became pregnant. Sometimes it just happens. There was no peer pressure, I dont think I ever wanted to do what everyone else was doing, how is that being your own person. What I want to be and what I want for my own little boy. My parents? My mom talked to me about sex, I know where babies come from, I knew it all. Media, please. That is the last thing I pay attention to, and I do not want to be like one of these rich celebrities cuz I know..that is not real life. Myths about parenting, I knew before I got pregnant that it is a life time commitment, it will take a lot of hard work and I was willing and still am willing to do whatever it takes to give my baby the best life he can have. And schools, ya they taught me about safe sex, birth control, and stds and where babies come from. It had nothing to do with school.
Although I dont feel I have to explain myself or my life to anyone, I do feel that I have the responsibility to stick up for all the great teen parents out there. Sometimes it just happens and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
And degrading and putting them down is not going to help the situation. Not even a little bit. You guys want to help? Keep your negative opinions to yourself. Give respect and be proud of any teen parent who is doing their best for their children.
Nothing wrong with being a parent..at any age.
By sandraSshier June 29, 2008 2:58pm
12
As a soon to be teen parent. One in my school there are many pregnant teens. Its not that there are pacts its that teenagers will be teens. The more your parents talk yeah it may be some good but if they try to keep you from livinga normal life i guarentee they will find a way around it. NOthing makes you want to rebel more than your parents telling you no.Absitence is taught in school but whether its carried out or not is no ones descion but a couple themselves.No matter what teens think they know whats best or make their own descions and will do what they want. Some teens though do turn out to be great moms and provide a great loving life and family. I dont think its right for anyone to degrade teen moms. They work hard to provide a future and a life . People putting them down only makes it worse and makes the whole worlds outlook on teen pregnancies as negative failures.
By kristennicole12 June 29, 2008 1:54pm
11
masturbate
By loomis June 26, 2008 3:48am
10
i like to masturbate y
By loomis June 26, 2008 3:46am
9
babies having babies
By poohscorner June 25, 2008 7:33am
8
I think that the parents need to have some frank discussions about sex and lay some laws down.....I know my parents did....my mom told me that she would take me to get birth control if I wanted to have it but she would not be raising any babies for me....I tihnk her exact words were she would be sending me to the boyfriends family if I became pregnant....no financial support at all.....back then there was no daycare in the high schools for the little ones at school and I saw plenty of my classmates not graduate ....its pretty silly that now the schools have daycare but won't give out birthcontrol or teach safesex .
I used to work at a walk in clinic and I do remember seeing girls as young as 14 coming in for pregnacy tests....so parents please educate your daughters...the boys will come and go and most likely head for the hills when your little girl annouces that she is knocked up, most likely wont see much child support from them either. My daughter is autistic and she is getting educated about babies and where they come from and such from me....I'm her mother and while she is only 9 I do feel that its not too young to start.....
By michaux42 June 24, 2008 9:40am
7
I like what you had to say and agree. I had my first child at 22 years old and was a single parent - it was hard but rewarding and we made it through - he just graduated high school and I'm so proud of him. I had my second chlid at 39 years old he is 2 now. Having a child is a wonderful thing - it's amazing and rewarding. It is also one of the toughest jobs you will ever do. One thing that no one plans on when they have a child is what will you do if you have a disabled child? Can you handle it? Emotionally and physically?
My 2 year old is Autistic - it has been a long road and he's only 2 - he has been in treatment over 6 months now because I caught the signs early and was able to get him diagnosed. Six months ago he was non-verbal and could not communicate at all - he can now communicate with some sign-language & picture icons and learns more words every day. But it took a lot of work - I'm talking he's in therapy approximately 21 hours a week right now - and we will be increasing to whatever level he can handle but he will be at approx. 32 hours a week. It takes a lot of juggling the schedule and many other things but the biggest thing you need is a boatload of patience! I'm not going to lie it's exhausting but also the most rewarding thing in the world - and I love my little guy more than words can express.
No one wants to wonder if they are going to have a disabled child - but I think you do have to give it at least some thought. Can you handle it? Can you be an effective parent to that child? There are so many things that go into being a parent and I think that is the biggest thing that teenagers overlook when they imagine that beautiful bundle of joy. Which all children are - regardless of ability.
By NicksMom40 June 24, 2008 8:11am
6
Blueyez,
I hear much wisdom in your words. Nothing is an absolute and glad to hear of your happy path.
By DrJeremy June 24, 2008 12:55am
5
i am 20 and i have three kids.... i had my first a month after i turned sixteen and i knew just about everything there was to know about sex. My mom is a nurse so i started learning about sex when i was very young, i was eight when we had our first conversation. So you cant always blame it on the parents i just made some bad choices that got me to the happy life i live now.
By blueyez1987 June 24, 2008 12:04am
4
This is an interesting article. I work at the WIC office at our local health dept. Unfortunately, I see quite a bit of this. I have often pondered why teens actually want to have babies at such a young age. Going through a difficult adolescence myself, I thought that having a baby at that time in my life would be the worst choice for myself. I realized that having a baby would make me more dependant on others, which was the last thing I wanted. However, I had the ability to look at the bigger picture.
This is a generalization and not true for everyone, but I feel that many teens who choose to get pregnant do not clearly see the implications for the future. Also, I think many come from a different socio-economic class in which this type of thinking is the norm.
For anyone interested, there is a book titled "A Framework For Understanding Poverty" by Ruby Payne. It helped me to understand and appreciate the different ways in which people think and the rationale behind them.
By bipolarinmygenes June 23, 2008 11:21pm
3
I am a mother of three bright,smart children. I had my first child when I was 17. Yes, I had a hard time and I learned from it. It has made me a better and stronger woman. I talk to my oldest about everything and I can only pray that what I have said has stuck in his head when he is about to have sex for the first time.
By compaq12 June 23, 2008 5:46pm
2
Im so glad you posted this. My first thought when i heard Jamie Lynn Spears was going to have a baby was ugh...here we go.....US Magazine and People Magazine are all about new moms shedding the weight, etc. This story just completely broke my heart.
By DrOrrange June 23, 2008 3:57pm
1
The whole things makes us pregnant "old farts" sick. Frankly, they don't know what they are giving up to become moms, when they are ONLY children themselves! I loved the 4 years I spent in college...I loved living in Colorado, Alaska, Australia and DC without a care in the world. These kids will never have that opportunity...how sad. The part that really worries me is the lack of parental involvement and education! What are these parents telling their kids...? Are they not discussing sex with them at all? My mom is a baby boomer, she talked my ears off about safe sex, pregnancy and AIDS.
By ShelbyS June 23, 2008 3:39pm